Say it like it is…

…that’s my motto. And also the inspiration for this blog. Some people (ok, I’ll go so far as to say most people) don’t like, can’t handle or get offended by those of us that tend to speak our minds. Blatantly. Without frivolous fanfare (or filters). And I’m not even the worst of that group. I have friends and family who are far more outspoken and in many cases, braver than I. But I can WRITE what I think like nobody’s business. At least I like to think so, and on a few occasions have been told so by a select few individuals who have had the pleasure/pain of reading my rants.  In an effort to free the aforementioned family and friends from having to read endless emails of said rants, I decided to make them public. Surely there’s an audience out there that might agree with me? Maybe this safe haven of a blog will empower them to also speak their minds and say it like it is whether it be through conversation, words on paper, art, photos, paintings, whatever!

I’m not saying you need to blow the head off of the person you’re speaking to by yelling obscenities; there are tactful ways to express yourself directly without verbally abusing the listener. For example: “You don’t have to agree with me and I certainly am not proclaiming to be an expert on the subject, but, Toddlers And Tiara’s is a waste of airspace and here’s why….” Granted, that’s a tame example but you get the idea.  (Trust me though, you’ll probably see that show turn up as the subject of another post and that one won’t be as kind.)

Here’s the thing: No one likes the person that pussy foots around the bush, dodging the subject, carefully placing words so as not to piss off or offend his/her audience. Not only is being direct faster and more efficient in the conversation circle, but it’s also much more effective. Might you elicit the occasional open-mouthed stare by being forthright, or the heated stage whisper from one to another at the gall you have for speaking up as such? Perhaps. Don’t internalize it, move on. Those people only react that way because they don’t have the balls to speak up themselves so in their little insecure way, they attack you for doing what they have only wished in their wildest dreams they could accomplish. Here’s an example: Recently I had someone tell me in a rather heated conversation that I was being too direct; that I was cold and emotionless (as if those attributes are synonymous with saying it like it is). Now this person, who will remain nameless, was one that really would’ve been better served with a punch in the face than the level-headed, mature conversation I was proposing. However, I find it hard to comprehend that they would’ve preferred I lie to them, sugar coat the issue at hand or in any other way create any unnecessary fluff that would’ve only prolonged the issue at hand. If you deliver the truth, directly and with an even-keel, mellow tone, you not only do yourself a favor but you help the ones you are speaking with (even if they are themselves completely beyond help of any kind) by gently pointing to the reality of the situation.

Now don’t misunderstand me. There is certainly a time and a place for a carefully selected barrage of odious insults and language only suitable in the gutters of hell, but chose wisely younglings, those times and places are few and far between. The “direct, say-it-like-it-is” language I speak of is more of an art; as well as an acquired taste.  This “art”, when practiced carefully and in sound mind, can render your know-it-all co-worker blissfully speechless or leave your Cruella De Ville-of-a-mother-in-law with a sheepish look of shame and embarrassment you never even thought it possible for her to produce.

Follow me friends. I will share real life experiences with you and ways in which I dealt (or tried to deal) with them by using this incredibly useful tactic. I’m not saying I’ve perfected it by any means, I am most certainly a work in progress, but you too can feel the unbridled sense of  content and satisfaction at being able to say it like it is. I will spill my guts on a variety of topics and invite you to do the same. Comment, share or retaliate with your own point of contention.  If nothing else, maybe you’ll nod knowingly at a situation that you’ve also experienced or smile or maybe even offer a chuckle or two.